Fortune favours the bold

Saturday 21 August 2010

The druids over the hill (and far away) had been working overtime perfecting the steps to their rain-dance, and it looked like they had finally got it right, as the channel was blessed with tank-filling, garden-watering rainfall. A slight misstep in the Druidic choreography however made it seem like the rain might not stop in time for Saturday's games. The soaking made Woodbridge Oval a more appropriate venue for a performance of Swan Lake than football, forcing the cancellation of Junior games and the migration of the Under 16 game to a slightly-less-aquatic Kettering Oval.

Spirits were high within the Woodbridge under 16 team as they rowed to Kettering, the team's shaman had studied the portents, and declared that the birth of a Southern Right whale in the channel earlier in the week was a 'well-wickid' omen. Even so, circumstances forced the team to adopt a complex numerological strategy designed to make the most of a weird Saturn/Pluto astrological event in order to counteract the fact that they only had ten players for the game.

The upshot was a pretty interesting and competitive match-up with both teams playing an impressive, and in the first half, rather defensive game. Clarence's disciplined back line was doing a great job of stymieing the Woodbridge attack, and their Keeper – who from a distance looked a lot like Germany's Manuel Neuer – made it clear that he was not going to concede goals easily.

The more fluid Woodbridge defending was also on fire, cutting short Clarence forays into the Woodbridge half. Jack was making some crucial clearances and winning important aerial balls, Vincent was magically appearing from thin air to thwart any danger in front of goals, Sindri had his mojo on again repeatedly stealing the ball from opposition players. Plus Deans, Kye and Rainen were blasting about making nuisances of themselves around the middle of the park.

Solid defending meant that the game remained at nil all for some time, but eventually Jy opened the scoring with a magical ball that finally bypassed the German keeper. Clarence's response was quick in coming; and it was a pretty cool bit of hoodoo too, a high ball from way back that caught Aiden off-guard and resulted in a goal that will no doubt be talked about for years to come in the Clarence camp. As the whistle blew for half time the score stood at a very respectable one all; the defenders and goalkeepers on both teams could be proud of their performances.

Woodbridge consulted the oracle at half time, keen to find an answer to the stalemate. Nike, the goddess of Victory, who just happened to be tootling past on her little red Vesper, stopped long enough to mention that she had particularly enjoyed their gun-slinging performance against Nelson/MacKillop a few weeks previously; and suggested they might try a similar strategy here. Unfortunately none of the team speak or understand Greek so the Goddess's sage advice fell of deaf ears.

Luckily the team seemed to have reached a similar conclusion anyway, they had studied the Feng Shui and seen where the chi was being blocked by the poor placement of a vase of flowers. A slight rearrangement of the furniture was all that was required to get the energy flowing again. Subsequently the second half was characterised by much more attacking play, and a further seven goals were scored – that's an average of one goal every 5.71 minutes – exciting stuff! Woodbridge boots were behind 5 of those 7 goals. Jy charmed the ball into the opposition's net one more time; Bolan abracadabra'd a couple in and Phineas waved his magic wand and added his name to the sheet twice too. Clarence also managed to get a couple more goals, so the end result was Woodbridge 6 – Clarence 3.

All in all it was another fantastic effort from the team, one that cements them firmly the top of the division 2 ladder.

In a parallel universe, where everything happened a mere fraction of a centimetre to the left, Rainen's magnificent performance had netted him a hat-trick. In our slightly right-of-centre world however, his shots glanced off the post or were collected by the keeper and the hattrick just failed to materialise.

Alio

Bye, bye FBI

After the suspicious disappearance of the Woodbridge versus Knights match report from last week, it has been decided not to entrust the reporting process to Special Agents Dana Scully and Fox Mulder of the FBI any more. No attempt will be made to recover the report, as it was largely about alien abductions in any case with precious little reference to the game at all.

This week’s match report has been left in the much safer hands of Bill and Ben, from Flowerpot, and it goes a little something like this:
Blip blop little weeeeeed.
…

Oh well, looks like it’s down to ol’ Muggins again… so here we go (‘ere we go, ‘ere we go…)

As luck would have it, a large proportion of the Woodbridge under16 squad travelled to Wellesley Park on Saturday for the second leg against South Hobart. A couple of them arrived hopefully at the Wentworth St stadium just down the road, thinking perhaps they would be playing in the Forestry Tasmania Premiere League… perhaps in a few years boys…

For some reason, yet again only 10 of the under 16 team seemed keen to take on South Hobart, and for the second time coach Dalles sought and received approval to field one of Woodbridge’s younger players. This time it was Dean’s younger brother Blake, who was absolutely awesome and played a level headed and skilful game. It was almost as if he had played with the under 16s before, as he read their play and passed the ball with astounding accuracy.

The game itself was the toughest so far; described as “intense” by the players and “exciting” by spectators. Forget last week’s backhanded compliment, this game was tougher by an order of magnitude.

I think it would be fairly safe to say that South Hobart dominated possession in the first half, and the fact that the score at half time was 0 – 0 is testament to some great defending by the Woodbridge boys and some absolutely outstanding goalkeeping by Aiden.

Possession in the second half was more even, and play bounced from one end to the other, as the teams seemed to take it in turn attacking each other’s goals. Woodbridge had quite a few chances, some of which South’s keeper collected and others which were off the post, too wide or to high. South, likewise, made numerous attempts on the Woodbridge goal with the same results.

The score remained at nil all until deep into the second half, when Jy managed to finally get the ball past the keeper and into the back of South’s net. South Hobart, having the luxury of a million substitutes (or thereabouts), responded by taking off a defender and popping another attacker on to the field. There may not have been long left on the clock, but the game was still up for grabs.

The last few minutes of the game were as full-on as the rest of the game had been, but no further goals were netted – leaving Woodbridge with a hard fought 1 – 0 win.

The Hex Files

aka WSC Vs Knights
(expurgated)

Saturday 7 August 2010

HEX Case File No: WSC2-GKFC4


...contents removed...

The Magnificent Eleven

“When you're ridin' ahead of the herd, you should take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there”
Anonymous cowboy

It was a game of two halves. That might seem like an obvious statement - of course a football game has two halves, that's why oranges were invented! But close your eyes and travel back in time to the Saturday just gone - on second thoughts don't close your eyes – read this instead, and all will become clear.

It all began in a dusty little one-horse town that the old-timers call Cambridge, Arizona (very old timers, with no sense of geography).

The Woodbridge Boys moseyed on into town, their horses kicking up dust as they emerged from the dry sagebrush on the outskirts. They were feeling ambivalent; on the one hand they were confident of their aim and their quick draw; and they remembered the previous show-down against these cowboys, when they had given their all and emerged from the fray as 4 – 1 victors. On the other hand, they knew that this was a new-look Nelson/MacKillop gang; all the way along their dusty journey they had seen the Wanted Posters plastered to walls and blowing around the prairie like tumble-weeds. They had overheard the talk in the towns along the way too, the Nelson/MacKillop Lads were a gang to be reckoned with.

Anything could happen.

The first shot was fired by Nelson/Mac, but the Woodbridge supporters smugly reassured themselves that the Woodbridge lads tend to respond faster than a toilet stop in rattlesnake country¹. On the side lines they watched expectantly; surely an answering salvo would be fired soon? But no; instead Nelson/Mac drew their guns, and fired in two more goals before the whistle blew for half time; shock ricocheted around the Woodbridge camp. Three nil down, Holey-moley! It looked like the Nelson/MacKillop dudes² were really going to clean Woodbridge's plow³

At half time there were no oranges, despite having been invented several paragraphs ago.

Oranges or not, half-time can make a huge difference to a game. We've heard those curly wolf⁴ coaches who, when their teams are losing, berate their squad mercilessly, we've heard the teams who bicker amongst themselves, flinging blame around as if it grows on trees. Neither approach seems to work that well. What is needed is a unified response, a plan, if you will.

...and level headed Cap'n Phineas was the man with the plan. A plan that did not involve backing down, a plan that did not even involve sneaking over to the opposition team's kit bag and stealing their snake-oil⁵.

When the whistle blew to signify the start of the second half, the score stood at Neslon/MacKillop 3 – Woodbridge 0. Nelson/Mac must have thought that they had the game wrapped up in rawhide and shoved into the bottom of their saddle-bags with their beef jerky and bedroll. A three goal lead is quite a comfortable margin, so they circled their wagons and all but holstered their guns.

Woodbridge came back to the field with all guns blazing. Phin, leading by example had soon fired in a top-notch goal. It came from outside the penalty area and shot into the top corner of the net, rebounding off the post. On the side lines a huge sigh of relief followed the raucous celebration. At least now it wasn't going to be a complete rout; 3 – 1 is a much more respectable loss than 3 – 0 (or worse).

Nelson/Mac seemed a bit surprised, but now their Smith and Wessons stuck in their holsters and they seemed unable to stem the flow of the game which had swung completely around. Jy followed Phin's example striking the ball hard so that it flew faster than a speeding bullet into the bottom corner of Nelson's net. Nelson MacKillop 3 – Woodbridge 2; if the Woodbridge whipper-snappers were going down, they were going down in a blaze of glory.

Of course 3 – 2 down wasn't what the boys had in mind, and having put in a blinder of a first goal Phineas decided he would reload his six-shooter and replicate Jy's goal, another low ball blasting, bullet-fast into the bottom corner. The supporters on the side lines went crazy, drowning out those who were honking their horns from the comfort of their Conestoga wagons – a three-all draw, we could live with that.

Quick Sheriff, blow your whistle before Nelson/Mac can get their Winchesters out!

Winchesters, however, are relatively cumbersome weapons, they weighed the opposition down and before long Nelson/MacKillop's game seemed to have played out⁶; Woodbridge sure had put a spoke in their wheel⁷.

The pistol toting Woodbridge gun-slingers now had a win in their sights. Quick draw Jordan, who for weeks has been surprising older and taller lads by repeatedly winning headers, reminded the Woodbridge supporters that he's pretty awesome with his boots too. With only minutes to spare he latched on to a corner ball expertly delivered by Bolan and chipped it over the keeper. “Goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaal!” As they say south of the border. “Goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaal!” they continue, because they are pretty darn-tootin' excited about it!

Still, the Mexican commentator's excitement paled in comparison to the hysterical fandango⁸ on the Woodbridge sidelines.

Nelson/MacKillop could see that the jig was up⁹ and when the Sheriff declared the game over moments later the score line was Woodbridge 4 – Nelson/MacKillop 3.


1. Really, really fast! (Grant & Naylor 1993)
2."Dude ~ an Easterner, or anyone in up-scale town clothes, rather than plain range-riding or work clothes."(Atwater 2001))
3. "Clean his/your plow ~ to get or give a thorough whippin'. " (Atwater 2001)
4. "Curly wolf ~ real tough guy, dangerous man."(Atwater 2001)
5. Snake Oil - steroids
6. “Played out ~ exhausted.” (Atwater 2001)

7. “Put a spoke in the wheel ~ to foul up or sabotage something.” (Atwater 2001)
8. “Fandango ~ from the Spanish, a big party with lots of dancing and excitement.” (Atwater 2001)
9. “Jig is up ~ scheme/game is over, exposed.”(Atwater 2001)

Ref:
Atwater, G.M. 2001, Western Slang and Phrases, retrieved August 3 from: http://freepages.genealogy.rootsweb.ancestry.com/~poindexterfamily/OldWestSlang.html

Grant, R. and Naylor, D. 1993, Red Dwarf: Gunmen of the Apocalypse, [TV series]

Under 16 Youth Plate Semi Final

Had you been at Woodbridge Oval on Saturday afternoon, glancing occasionally at proceedings on the pitch, you might well have thought that Woodbridge was winning their Youth Plate semi final encounter with Huon Valley.

No doubt you would have admired Woodbridge's blistering attacks on the Huon goal. You would have seen the ball sailing repeatedly towards the net only to be thwarted at the last moment by the Huon Keeper. You would have seen spectators rising from their seats in anticipation then sinking back, disappointed, seconds later. It was a roller-coaster ride of emotion.

If the game had been all about possession, Woodbridge would have scraped 4 – 3 win, had it been all about shots on target, it would have been somewhere in the vicinity of a 10 – 4 win for the 'bridge.

Unfortunately the game was decided on goals scored.

None of ours went in.

Alio

WSC U16s Vs Kingborough

The Woodbridge Under 16s played at home against a ten man Kingborough team on Saturday. You would imagine that would suggest a large win for the home team, however Kingo had a couple of really, really fast players, youngsters on loan from their mixed under 16 - 19 team; plus, even more worrying they had ex-patriot, and master of the midfield, Jack A.

So winning took some doing.

Fortunately for the home team Phineas was on fire, so we doused the flames and sat back and watched in awe as he proceeded to chalk up a marvelous hat-trick, two goals in the first and another in the second. Bolan, manning the fire extinguisher, managed to pop in a couple for the home team too and Deans cleverly converted a fantastic pass from Jy on the wing, to bring the Woodbridge tally to six.

It was a great team effort yet again, precious few mistakes were made, and those that were, were swiftly punished, giving the Kingborough lads 2 goals to our 6. Don't despair though Woodbridge, one of those goals was scored by a very talented, very fast Kingborough lad who is so good that he usually plays – and scores (8 times and counting) – against 17 to 19 year olds.

So well done Woodbridge, once again some fantastic team work and great, skilled play.

Alio

U16 match report - of sorts

Woodbridge 5 - Clarence United 2

The under 16's game on Saturday could be likened to a sandwich; Clarence provided the fresh full-grain bread with a goal at each extremity of the game, and Woodbridge supplied a flavoursome filling of five goals. The game began shortly after 11:15 am, by which time eleven Woodbridge players had arrived at Cambridge, which was ample cause for celebration in itself. Aiden, Deans, Jack, Rainen, Sindri, Kye, Nadirah, Jordan, Jy, Phineas and Bolan – a full squad! Forget sandwiches, break out the cake!

Perhaps we should therefore say that the game was a bit like a delicious sponge cake; Clarence provided the light and tasty sponge (ie goal) at each end of the game, and Woodbridge provided the ever-so-sweet, five-goal, jam and cream filling. Whichever way you slice it, this was an exciting game; a game which Clarence began early and emphatically with an awesome goal and a dusting of icing sugar. Woodbridge were a bit rattled; but spectators know from past experience that when the chips are down, this team gets frying - which kind of messes with the whole cake metaphor; but cake is never in the vicinity of teenagers for very long in any case.

So, in the first half of a game that was much more like a piping-hot, fresh from the fryer fisherman's basket than a sponge cake, Bolan and Phineas provided three sizzling goals between them (Bolan 2, Phin 1). Jordan had served up a beauty too, garnished with a sprig of parsley and a squeeze of lemon, unfortunately he was offside so the goal was dipped in tartare sauce and disallowed; never-the-less it still served to rattle the Clarence defence and worry their keeper. At half-time, when the teams retired briefly to the sidelines to find absolutely NO oranges (or squid rings for that matter) the score-line stood at 3 – 1 in the visitor's favour.

The second half was a different kettle of fish; crumbed and deep-fried (or perhaps not but this metaphor has a mind of its own) With several Clarence players committed to marking Bolan, Phin and Jordan were able to run riot in the midfield and Jy was freed up to remind us that the jinx has well and truly lifted. He peppered the Clarence goal with shots and ultimately provided Woodbridge with another two goals. The first was a borderline affair, only just crossing the line, but the second is etched firmly into spectators minds; a beautiful long pass from Sindri to Bolan who, with four opposition players converging, lobbed it across the field to Jy who salted it away into the back of the Clarence net. Clarence managed to plate up one more goal before the whistle sounded, to bring the full-time score to Woodbridge 5 – Clarence 2.

Awesome team play yet again from the Woodbridge guys and gal, a veritable feast of fantastic football.

Alio